


The Happiest Place On Earth (Got Nothing On This)

by faequeentitania



Series: Beyond the Diner [6]
Category: Cracked - Ambiguous Fandom, Cracked.com, Cracked: After Hours
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M, Multiple Orgasms, OT4, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Sharing Clothes, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 14:13:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11337150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faequeentitania/pseuds/faequeentitania
Summary: Daniel's always chipper when he feels like he won. It's a good look on him.





	The Happiest Place On Earth (Got Nothing On This)

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place right after the episode ["The 4 Worst Lessons Disney Movies Taught Us as Kids"](https://youtu.be/5muQ8QH3ffg?list=PLnwLbAKgVu_AAqYnjaYRT3Z_m6Z0-qplY). Which, to refresh your memory, is part of the handful of episodes that take place at Montrose Bakery and Cafe instead of Los Feliz Cafe, and is also part of the brief period where Michael sported a terrible mustache. None of that is important to this story about Daniel and Katie having solo sex in the middle of the night, but they're charming anecdotes about a cute episode.

Daniel was always chipper when he felt like he won. And even Katie had to admit he had been pretty impressive tonight, though she still maintained that her point had really brought it home.

It had been a great day in general. Despite Michael almost getting them banned from Disneyland, they had had a good time together. They rode a ton of rides, got silly souvenirs, ate overpriced food and drank a couple of mixed drinks.

Before they left the bakery they got a pie to split, and they brewed coffee back at Soren’s before digging into it and making Michael watch _Beauty and the Beast_ , since he had _somehow_ never seen it.

Despite its problems, it was still a lovely movie, and Katie and Daniel inevitably ended up singing along.

“Neeeeerrrrrrrrds,” Michael nudged them, and they just sang louder. It was cozy and fun, and when the credits rolled Michael insisted they all keep their silly souvenirs on.

Watching him get a blowjob from Daniel while wearing Mickey ears was admittedly hilarious, as was Soren dirty-talking to her like a pirate with his eye patch on.

It was fun and easy and silly, and that was undoubtedly Katie's favorite thing about this little arrangement they had. It wasn't bogged down with expectations and hang ups; they just enjoyed each other with wholehearted pleasure.

So she was a little concerned when she was roused out of sleep by Daniel slipping out of bed a few hours later. He was moving quietly and carefully, but the sensation of losing his warmth pressed all along her back was still enough to pull her out of sleep.

She waited a few minutes to see if it was just a quick bathroom trip, but when he didn't return she snuck out of bed as well to check on him.

He was in the living room, in his boxers and Michael’s shirt, and was flipping around from channel to channel with the TV volume low.

“Hey,” she said softly, coming up next to the arm of the sofa and putting a hand on his shoulder, rubbing gently, “You okay?”

Dan looked up at her and gave her a closed-mouth little smile, “Yeah, I’m good. Just feel restless tonight.”

“In a bad way, or a ‘had too much caffeine’ kind of way?”

“Caffeine way,” Dan chuckled, “Yeah, no worries. I’m alright. You can go back to bed.”

He reached up and took her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it before giving it a kiss. Daniel could be quite charming when he stopped stressing out about how he was coming off.

“Nah, I’ll sit with you a little while,” Katie shrugged one shoulder. She had snagged a shirt up off the floor before coming out, and it turned out to be Daniel’s button up. She tugged it down a little as she sat on the cushion next to him, and pulled his arm around her so she could snuggle up against his side.

“Anything decent on?” she murmured, and Daniel shrugged.

“I think I saw a _Futurama_ rerun somewhere.”

“Better than info-mercials.”

“We could always watch _Beauty and the Beast_ again.”

“I don’t believe for a second that you could keep yourself from singing.”

Daniel laughed, and Katie giggled.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. You would sing too, though, and you know it.”

“No doubt.”

They found _Futurama_ and settled in, Daniel resting his cheek on the top of Katie’s head, his thumb rubbing gently at her shoulder.

Katie caught about a quarter of the episode before she started to doze, shuffling down a bit more until her head was more on Daniel’s chest than his shoulder. Daniel, bless his heart, shuffled around a bit to accommodate her, and she was more than happy to wedge one arm between him and the back of the sofa while her other arm wrapped around his waist.

Daniel was always like a walking heater. He was one of those guys who would wear shorts in the middle of a blizzard and still be sweating. And while it was mildly inconvenient for him, it made him absolutely wonderful to cuddle.

She woke up halfway through the second episode that came on, and sighed.

“I’ll be right back,” she murmured, turning her head to kiss his chest before pulling away and getting up.

She went to the bathroom, and as she was washing her hands, she considered the box of condoms in Soren’s medicine cabinet. She plucked one out and put it in the breast pocket of her shirt before she flicked the light switch off and returned to the living room.

Daniel was flipping channels again, and she gave him a questioning look.

“Commerical,” he said simply, and she made a small “ah” sound in answer.

“How invested in this episode are you?” she decided to ask him, and Daniel raised his eyebrows.

“I’ve seen them all a million times, so... not terribly?”

“Good,” she nodded, climbing into his lap. Daniel looked surprised, and she gave him a little peck on the cheek, “This okay?”

Daniel nodded, and she moved closer, her knees on either side of his hips and her arms going around his neck. She hummed approvingly when his hands settled against her sides, rubbing long strokes up and down warmly.

She kissed him again, properly this time, and Daniel went into it eagerly.

Giving Daniel affection was one of her favorite things. He was the one least likely to ask for it, but the most appreciative when he received it. Katie wasn’t sure how much of it was just Daniel’s general anxiety about touch, or if it was more of his deep-rooted uncertainty when it came to his interactions with others. Either way, it made her always ask before getting too far into his personal bubble, but it was the most rewarding when she did.

Daniel gave a little groan as she slid her hands down his chest, so she did it again, and then a third time before gripping the hem of his shirt and pulling it up over his head. Daniel’s glasses almost went with it, and she giggled as she pulled them off his face and put them aside. She hadn’t even bothered with her own glasses when she followed him out to the living room, which made it a lot easier when she pressed her face against his neck, trailing her lips down his throat.

Daniel’s head tilted back against the sofa with an unsteady sigh; she knew his neck was one of his more sensitive places, and the sudden desire to see him squirmy and panting pushed to the forefront of her mind.

She nibbled very gently, and Daniel gave a little gasp that made her feel stupidly victorious. She wanted to _wreck_ him; play with him the same way she played with Soren, with bondage and pain. One of Sarah Jessica Parker’s lines from _Hocus Pocus_ came to mind, “Hang him on a hook and let me play with him!” She’d love to hang Daniel on a hook and just overload him with pleasure.

The sofa would have to do for now; she had no idea where she could string someone up by their wrists, for starters, nor was she sure that Daniel would even be remotely interested in that level of play. It was hard to tell how deep his vanilla side went, and she didn’t want to push him unless she had strong evidence that it would be rewarding, like it had been with Soren.

She took her time kissing and licking and nipping at his neck; she could feel him getting aroused, his hardness pressing against his boxers between her legs. She moved from one side of his throat to the other, and Daniel’s hands fisted in her shirt.

“Ngh,” he grunted when she nipped a little harder, and his hips jerked up against her, “Fuck, Katie.”

“You’re welcome,” she murmured against his neck with a grin, and he chuffed out a breathless laugh.

His hands opened wide to touch as much as he could as he trailed them up and down her back before moving to her front. Her belly twitched a little as he rubbed his open palms up from her waist to her breasts, cupping and squeezing gently.

She reached up between his hands to begin unbuttoning the couple buttons she had bothered to do up on the shirt, but he stopped her with a soft sound and his hands over hers.

She pulled back questioningly, and even with the dim light of the flickering tv she could tell he was blushing.

“Can...?” he began uncertainly, and she quirked an eyebrow, “Can you keep it... on?”

Katie smirked. She knew exactly what this was about, she could feel it in her bones, “You like seeing me in your clothes.”

It wasn’t a question, because she already knew the answer, and Daniel’s face blushed a little darker.

“It’s dumb,” he whispered, looking away from her, and she grabbed his jaw and forced his head up so she could kiss him.

“It’s hot,” she murmured against his lips, “Stop apologizing for the things that turn you on.”

She released his face but kept kissing him, then guided his hands back to her breasts with a little moan.

The condom wrapper crinkled in the breast pocket, and Daniel nibbled her bottom lip, “You thought ahead.”

“Of course I did,” she smirked, “Wasn’t about to seduce my favorite nerd without a game plan.”

Daniel chuckled and pressed in for another kiss as his hands traveled downwards. She shivered as one hand landed on her hip and the other pushed the hem of her shirt up enough to slide between her legs.

Daniel’s thumb brushed her clitoris, and she let out a shaky breath. Another brush, and his mouth trailed away from her lips and down her neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses and swipes of his tongue.

It was good; it was _really_ good, Daniel knowing just how to rub gently at her clit to build her up nice and slow.

That was one of the beautiful things about Daniel; he was a quick study and was so damn eager to please that he learned how to play her like a fiddle in hardly any time at all. She was in no way complaining.

She stroked her hands over his head gently, petting the soft, fluffy hair he was letting grow out. She loved his hair like this; not so long as to be unruly, but just long enough that his natural curls started to show.

She pressed down into it when Daniel cupped his hand between her legs, putting pressure on her vulva and clit all at once, and gave a little groan. He rocked his hand, still kissing her throat, and Katie shuddered. Her pussy was clenching with want, and she could feel her wetness leaking all over Daniel’s fingers.

It occurred to her that Daniel was hard and kissing her with his hand between her thighs but she hadn’t even touched him properly yet, which felt like a grave oversight. She slid a hand down with a little moan and palmed the hard outline of his dick through his boxers. Daniel moaned sharply, squirming and panting against her throat as she rubbed her thumb against the head. He pulled her hand away and she made a disappointed sound.

“Later,” he murmured, “worry about me later.”

Daniel was a saint, he really was, even if he was mistaking her intentions for altruism. Nevertheless, she did what he wanted, running her hands over his shoulders and down his arms before running them back up to stroke his head.

The heel of his palm pressed against her clit as he slipped a finger inside her easily, her body immediately clenched around it, trying to keep him inside as a little sound of want squeaked from the back of her throat.

Daniel groaned, thrusting his finger gently and rubbing little circles with the heel of his palm that was making Katie tremble.

He pressed another finger inside her, and Katie ground down on his hand with a whimper.

“Katie,” Daniel murmured, then groaned, “Can... can I go down on you?”

Katie gave a breathless laugh, then another moan as Daniel’s fingers pressed in to the last knuckle, “Sweetie, if there is ever a day when I say no to that question, you can be sure I’ve been replaced with a pod person.”

Daniel gave a startled laugh, then his fingers were slipping away and Katie let him twist her around to lay down on the sofa. She shuffled up a bit higher to give Daniel more room, and he kissed his way up the inside of her thigh as he moved to bend over her.

He gave a low moan as he pressed his mouth against her, and his facial hair scratched lightly in all the best ways. She gasped as he flicked his tongue out to lap lightly at her clit, teasing.

A moment later she was reaching down to stroke his hair again and scratch lightly at his scalp, and Katie’s legs started shaking when his tongue picked up the pace in response, flicking lightly side to side in a way that was going to drive her up a wall.

Then Daniel was slipping his fingers inside her again, rocking them toward the front of her pelvis and making her pussy clench. She writhed, pushing her hips up into his mouth and panting at the way pleasure was building and spreading and winding her tighter.

She whined restlessly, tightening her grip in his hair and trying to get him to give her _more_ ; faster, more pressure, more fingers inside her. Daniel was drawing it out; keeping her on edge and she moaned frustratedly.

“Come on,” she whispered, “Daniel, come on...”

Daniel was the least cruel of them when it came to teasing, and all she had to do was ask for him to give; eager to please her and yearning to make her feel good. Rapid flicks of his tongue over her clit and three fingers filling her up and it took her less than two minutes to come after that; tensing and arching and panting and Daniel stayed with it until she went limp against the sofa cushions.

He wiped his mouth and kissed the inside of her trembling thighs before making his way up her belly, pressing lingering kisses that made Katie’s skin tingle.

She fumbled for the pocket of the shirt, and ripped the packaging open with her teeth and one unsteady hand.

“Come ‘ere,” she gasped, tugging him up by the little grip she had on his hair, and he went eagerly, kissing his way up her belly and breasts and neck and she let go of his hair to fumblingly get the condom out.

She shoved the waistband of his boxers down, and Dan made a strangled sound when she slid the condom down his dick.

“Come on,” she murmured, stroking him a few times and enjoying the way it made him groan, “You’re turn, Dan, come on.”

Daniel shuddered and moaned again, pulling his head up from her neck to kiss her mouth, and she slid her tongue between his lips obscenely.

He looked ready to combust, panting and flushed and starting to sweat, and Katie pushed him back enough to turn over under him. Daniel groaned, palming her ass, and Katie arched back into it.

Daniel’s cock pressed against her, but he didn’t push in yet; just rubbing against her pussy lips and breathing heavily and Katie was getting impatient.

She was about to snap at him to _”Just do it already, Daniel!”_ when he finally pushed in, filling her up in one sure thrust.

Katie moaned into the sofa cushion and gripped it tightly, squeezing around him and grinding back.

That was always her favorite part, that first thrust. With Daniel, doubly so, he was so _thick_ ; when she wrapped her hand around him her fingertips couldn’t even touch. And the most precious part was the fact that Daniel seemed completely oblivious to how much of an edge that gave him. If half the girls he had smiled awkwardly at through the years knew what he was hiding in his jeans, they would have helped him push past his awkward nerdiness to get to this in a heartbeat.

Their loss was Katie’s gain, and she pushed back against Daniel again to encourage him to move.

He shuddered and groaned as he pulled almost all the way out before pushing back in slowly, and Katie moaned with him wantonly.

One of Daniel's hands moved from her hips to the middle of her back, gripping a fistful of her shirt as his other hand continued to guide her thrusts back onto his dick.

She hid her smirk in the cushion; Daniel feeding the primitive, possessive part of his brain by asking her to keep his shirt on while they fucked was weirdly hot, and she tucked it away in her head for possible future use.

Daniel palmed her ass again, and she could tell by the way he was moving that he was watching his cock disappear inside her body. She arched her back and spread her legs wider, moving one leg off the edge of the sofa and to the floor to give him a better look.

She dug her toes into the carpet, pushing back into his thrusts greedily and Daniel groaned, his hips moving faster and deeper. She couldn’t help but push a hand under herself to rub her clit, whining into the cushion and clenching in pleasure. She could come again, if she concentrated.

Daniel bent over her, digging his forehead into her shoulder and breathing heavily against her shirt; each hard pant warming the fabric under his lips. She could feel his sweat damping the fabric as well, and she wondered if he would let her take a shower with him when they were done. Some post-coital shower cuddling sounded just lovely.

Suddenly Daniel pulled out, and she made a frustrated sound.

“Turn over,” he panted, and she scrambled to flip onto her back. She could see the shine of sweat on his skin as he looked down at her for a moment, his mouth open and panting and his eyes heavy lidded. She reached up to tug on his arm, coaxing him down, and Daniel went with zero hesitation.

She hiked her knees up and spread her legs as wide as she could with the back of the sofa in the way, and Daniel braced his forearm next to her head as his other hand guided his cock back inside her.

Daniel’s back was slick with sweat, but she ran her hands over him anyway, and he moaned as he slid his arms under her and wrapped them around her chest.

They were flush against each other and Daniel pressed his head down to her chest, nosing the edges of the shirt out of the way enough for him to kiss her skin. She cupped the back of his head with one hand, scratching her nails against his scalp gently and the other following the curve of his back as far down as she could reach.

The position made her expect short, tight thrusts and a slow, steady pace, but Daniel was always surprising her. Instead, he pushed in tight and just _rocked_. Katie squirmed and gasped at the way it made his pelvis grind against her clit, and she wrapped her legs around him with a breathy sound.

He trailed his mouth across the stretches of her chest he could reach, and the light scratch of his beard made her skin tingle. She tightened her legs around him on every grind in, pleasure rolling in waves with the rocking of his hips.

He shuddered and moaned, his hips grinding a handful of small, rapid jerks in and Katie tightened around him with a gasp; pushing up hard into the pressure and gripping his hair in a tight grip. Daniel panted, digging his forehead into her clavicle and doing it again, and this time he didn’t stop; just kept hitching his hips in with hard, quick pressure that wound Katie up fast and intense.

She gasped and moaned as it drove her closer and closer to the edge, and then suddenly every hitch in included a maddening, intense little circular grind that was just _perfect_ and she shook through another orgasm with a muffled cry.

Daniel groaned low and deep against her chest, doing that maddening little grind until she was strung out and limp. He was panting and shaking when he finally pulled back, just putting enough space between them so he could get better leverage for himself. He thrusted uneven and rapid a handful of jerky times before he came with a strangled sound, and she squeezed around him the best she could as he rode it out.

She pulled him down when his body finally relaxed, and Daniel wrapped his hands around the sides of her ribs and curled down to press his face against her chest again.

She didn’t say anything for a long while; too buzzed with pleasure and waiting to see how long it would take for her muscles to stop trembling.

Daniel was starting to doze off, she could feel it in the way his body was getting heavier, and she couldn’t help but smile a little at that. She stroked her hands over his back weakly, giving a light little scratch of her nails and Daniel roused awake again.

“Still feeling restless?” she whispered, and Daniel gave a tiny, breathless little laugh.

“Can’t say I am, no,” he whispered back, raising his head slowly. His eyes were heavy with sleepiness, and she cupped his cheek warmly.

He hummed, leaning into it and closing his eyes, and she smirked as she guided his face down for a kiss.

It was lovely and leisurely, and they drew it out for several long minutes.

“Quick shower?” she murmured eventually, and Daniel sighed.

“Yeah.”

It was an effort to motivate themselves off the couch and find the remote to turn off the tv, but they moved slowly to the bathroom in the end, and Daniel threw the condom away before pulling Katie closer again by the front of her shirt.

She grinned as she kissed him, and Daniel slid the buttons undone and ran his hands over her sides.

“If I stole your Spider-Man shirt and wore it do you think you would spontaneously combust?” she smirked against his mouth, and Daniel groaned, pulling back and blushing adorably.

“I’m fucking lame, I know,” Daniel sighed, and Katie kissed him again.

“No you’re not,” she said gently, “I like it too.”

She distracted him with another kiss before starting the shower, and they stepped in together to wash the sweat away.

They ended up just standing under the spray for a few minutes after they had finished rinsing the soap off, and Katie drew her mouth up his shoulder and the side of his neck, rubbing her lips and tongue over his wet, fresh skin.

Daniel hummed contently, and she could tell he was half asleep on his feet. She grinned against his pulse point, pressing a kiss there before turning the water off and nudging him gently out of the shower.

They toweled off but didn’t bother to find any clothes, and Katie shooed him in the direction of the bedroom as she closed the door behind him so she could use the toilet.

He was waiting for her outside the bedroom door, and they both went in as quietly as they could and climbed back into bed.

Soren snuffled in his sleep behind her, and Katie snuggled up against Daniel’s chest with a sigh.

“Goodnight, Daniel,” she whispered as he drew his arm around her, and Daniel yawned.

“Goodnight, Katie.”


End file.
